Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
