so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
