just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is the high leading the old right now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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