Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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