Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm at about main and main street
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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