FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
