As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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