i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
