don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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