I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
