Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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