After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize