I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
