I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
