I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize