Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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