Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
