it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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