at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
