Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
