i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
