My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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