smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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