That's intense
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
wakey wakey hands off snakey
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
