im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
