all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
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