That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
