bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
