The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize