I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
