What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
