Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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