absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
