Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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