so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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