4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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