i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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