If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
