I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
