I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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