Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
