You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
