Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
