Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Say something about gay babies.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
