Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
