So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
