found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
