i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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