Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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