can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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