I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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