Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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