Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
