Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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