so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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