Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
