I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize